Confusion and Mishaps

That's five times i've woken up with nightmares and the worst of headaches. But this time things are different, I am coherent and...the vibes in the room are changing around me.

"Natalie, are you alright?" It was that beautiful man again...uh what's his name?

He sighed, then replied, "Edward" and he smiled--he probably heard the beautiful part too. He seems to be more comfortable with me more so than the others. After all he was the one who found me. Yet, I still feel alienated.

"I should go," I whispered as the feeling of hate crept in my mind. "I truly do not mean to be insulting but I don't belong here! I don't even know why you took me here, I'm fine on my own." The truth was inevitable, I wasn't fine because the expression on my face and just the way i stood there was a given.

"Thank you," I whispered as tears rolled down my shivering face. I headed toward the door. Then I heard them say "No Jacob!" and before I knew it, i was pinned to the couch. I looked forward to see beady brown eyes grazing my face like I were the enemy. Pinned to the cushions, I remained completely still after noticing is was unharmed. I looked into his eyes and it was that moment again, like the Earth stood still. It was a solid bond, like an automatic connection. I didn't quite understand how someone I don't know at all could have such an impact.

"You can't leave," he breathed, then he whispered in my ear, "did you feel that? I need to take care of you, my life is dedicated to you now." I was scared but not confused this seemed so natural for some reason and I could feel myself slipping away from consciousness.

***
Jasper put her out again, the Cullens have pride issues. Bloodsuckers are damn wimps, thinking i would hurt her; as if I were that stupid and careless. Being unable to control myself and my emotions sure does make me feel stupid and careless enough. So far, my experience with Forks has just worsened my cause. Hanging around vamps all day won't prevent me from turning into a wolf. Since I lost Bella, I feel as though the wolf in me is all I have left. To escape the stress, the reminders, I need to run free.
I won't let them take all of me.

....

Twisting Physics: Jacob Continues

Jacob

*******************

Such a Bella thing to do--collapse right on the floor when you walk in. The poor thing must be going into shock. I did as I was told and lifted her onto a nearby couch and helped getting her to wake up. It hardly seemed possible but, the girl was delirious! She would say things like,"I don't wanna go to Kansas" or "there's no place like home" over and over again. I really did feel bad for her. Even if she was a disgusting creature, at least she was only half, I can relate.

There I was sitting near her side with a damp cloth in one hand placed on her forehead. Then the most amazing thing happened. She opened her eyes and called my name and at the moment our eyes met, my heart swam and I was drowning in all the gushiness I was all so suddenly feeling for this vampire girl. And that thought made me cringe the slightest bit:

I imprinted a half human, half vampire girl.

What do you want to take away from me now? You already took away my sanity, what else? This girl just wanders in and starts to twist physics. Kill me now!

********************

Twisting Physics

There we were, in front of a great, white house. He opened the door and the boy that I guessed is Jacob signaled for me to enter. He followed in after me and I found myself standing in a bright room with a tall, widespread wall of glass window at the side furthest from me, it looks out to the river. It was quiet, unnaturally quiet. Then, I saw a man walking down the stairs accompanied by a young woman, their movements were so fluid it was unreal. I was slightly distracted by the young woman of which now, was whispering into the man's ear. I think she noticed me, maybe she too was distracted by my stare. The man spoke.

[Added in: Friday, January 2, 2009]

"Hello. Edward, I trust that your hunting trip has done you well?"

"Huh? Oh, yes. Yes, Carlisle I have quenched my thirst," and he chuckled and everyone joined in.

I saw the small woman nudge the man who goes by the name of Carlisle. Now i'm catching on.

"Oh, and who might this be? Welcome!" Carlisle smiled and stepped closer to me. He looked at me close for a moment then nodded his head with a smile. "So you are a vampire like us...but i've noticed something...you have a heartbeat."

I was captivated by how calm he remained. Most of the people who have ever seen me stay away, but he seems so in control...i wonder what it is.

"Yes, I do. Actually...I don't really know what I am." My voice didn't sound real, it sounded scared and shaky. Listening to these words I finally recognized how sad I really was, well, in my situation, who wouldn't? "I sleep too...don't know why."

"Yes, you are half human, half vampire. But before we get into the details, let me introduce my family and me.

"I'm Carlisle Cullen. I am a doctor and as you know, a vampire. And this"-- he pointed out the short woman beside him--"this is Alice. she is a Cullen as well and she joined our family with her mate, Jasper. She's also the most exciting and enthusiastic out of our bunch."

"Hi!" Alice burst out in a chirpy voice. "I knew you would come!" And then she grabbed me and clasped me to her stone body.

"How...did you...see...me?" I said with the rest of the breath left in my lungs.

"Oh, I'm sorry," she let go, although I liked it, it felt nice, and I needed that.

"Well, we have a theory that with some people, when they turn into vampires they have certain...powers let's say and me, lucky me, I get to see what's happening int the future! And get to fore tell the present destined for a person from a distance!"

"Wow, so you saw that I was coming?"

"Only when you made the decision to run and stop ih Forks."

"Forks," I felt dazed and confused, where is 'Forks' anyways? Definately not Canada!

My eyes rolled back and I was out for the moment. And I thought that me being able to sleep was twisting physics!

Be Careful What You Wish For...you just might get it

I woke up. Is this possible? Can vampires sleep? I don't know what time it is, how many days have passed? Did I sleep or did I blackout? Am I being sent to hell now? Did the Devil delay my trip because he himself didn't want me?

Recovery. I have proof I'm still alive; there is light and I still can see the fibres of dust each its own. I can walk and breathe, and I'm starting to think I worry myself too much.

Now that I am coherent I'm starting to get bored. I know I could read a book like I did yesterday but I'm losing interest and this cabin is starting to make me feel claustrophobic. So instead of being depressed and curling up into a corner I thought it would be nice to get out and wander around the forest. I would've gone to a mall or something but I don't think I would have enough self-control, not with the state I'm in.

It's a nice day outside. The leaves are changing colour; it must be autumn. The things I smell are so distinct, every smell is significant. I smell damp soil, crisp leaves, and burning firewood. Everything is so fresh here, it's like a rehabilitation centre for vampires. I laughed to myself at my own joke. I guess I really am that lonely and maybe it's better that way. I know I am not selfish , in my life I remember being a selfless person that's why now I think things are better this way. This way is better in the sense that no one gets hurt (or killed). Even if it means I'm getting hurt and I know living like this will...--

Something just attacked me! Ouch! It's heavy! My head just got smashed against the thick root of an old tree. I blacked out for a little while then I was back. Actually, I don't think I wanted to open my eyes. Nu-uh, what if some weird creature tried to jump on me again?! No way I'm going anywhere. As scared as I was, I was still quite curious to what actually did hit me and so I took a risk and opened my eyes.

"She's awake," I heard someone say.

The young man sighed, "Jacob, don't worry you were just trying to protect us."


I couldn't see my face right now but I could only imagine what it looked like; shocked and awestruck. There it was, the man from my dream and the russet-skinned guy was there too! Just like in my dream! I couldn't believe it who--

--but he got to it before me,"Who are you?" he asked with a stern voice and a his brows furrowed.

I put all my effort into these words--so I as well could defend myself too.

"N-n-natalie." It wasn't till then that I noticed his icy cold hands were clamping my arms to the ground; I had thought it was a boulder or something.

"Why are you here? Who sent you?"

I cleared my throat only to notice the burning hadn't deminished, I thought it was just a deer passing by that triggered it, but now I can tell it's coming from the man in behind. It didn't small too good nothing I would bite. It had more of a perfumy scent, i somewhat liked it. So I just held my breathe and said,"I needed to move far away from human blood so I ran and I just ended up here, in this forest. What's that smell?"

"Oh god," the man in the background that I could soon identify as Jacob finally spoke, "not another one."

'Another one'? Does that mean another vampire? I'm not the only one here? Wait...now I recall, the man in front of me I identified as a vampire in my dream so...

"Yes, that's right I am a vampire," now he said this in a kinder tone. Wait a minute did he just read my mind?!

"Yes," he replied with a smile. "Are you a newborn?"

"Newborn? I guess if that means I was...within a few weeks then, yes."

He offered a hand to lift me up and I took it without hesitation.

"You look young, how old are you?"

"Er, umm..almost 17."

"Hmm...who created you?" he asked in a more firm than kind tone.

"I-I-I...I don't know exactly. It was dark...it was in an alley...so scared." I went into freeze mode thinking back to these memories, if they are still there I know it must have been bad.

"Okay, it's okay. But you weren't in an army were you?"

"What?"

"An army, a vampire cult?"

"Oh, n-no of course not."

He went stiff all the sudden. He stopped breathing and starting examining me with his eyes.
"What? What did I do?"

"You are alive. You have a heartbeat. You have blood. And you have venom."

"And she has hands and she has feet...yeah it's a little obvious." Jacob said and then he went stiff too, "Oh, I get it."

The beautiful man took a deep breath, "Carlisle will know." Even though he was talking to Jacob he kept his eyes on me the whole time. I guess he thought I might take a chance and run for it.

I was so confused. Ever since I came here everything started moving at ludacris speed. It seemed like I just got here and already I find myself going to another vampire's house! Didn't I just a second ago think there was no one else but me? I s someone watching me and even worse, tapping into my thoughts?!

Dreams

If I was still a live human right now I would say I was tired. This whole week I've been suffering--and I deserve it. I never knew it would be so hard. The point is, now I made it, I'm in the middle of nowhere to be specific. I ran the whole way making some stops on a herd of deer on the way, and for the record, they taste horrible!

I spent the whole rest of my day finding somewhere to stay. Finally, I found an abandoned cabin and decided to settle in there. It was no problem, I didn't need food or blankets to sleep, to me this cabin had everything I could ever need...except for a cure to this never ending thirst.

The next morning I noticed something in my cozy little cabin that I did not notice in the dark of last night. I found a bookshelf full of books. Now, I don't remember too much about my other life but from looking at the titles of these books, I can identify them as classics. So, to keep myself distracted I started to read.

Just from looking at the backs of some books I could tell I didn't like them. I managed to finish reading a book called "Pride and Prejudice" which I've grown fond of.

I also noticed something else that was weird, all the rest of the rooms' doors are locked. This cabin is so nice, I don't know why anyone could ever want to just leave it. And another thing I don't get is that it is in perfect condition! It looks as if it gets cleaned everyday! Wait a minute...what if someone does still come here? What if they came while I was out...oh no. It's not possible. I'm probably just thinking too much.

I don't know what time it is but it's still dark outside and I don't know what just happened. All I know is, I was in the living room when all of the sudden my eyes are shut and I'm not doing anything anymore. This kind of reminds me of something I used to do when I was alive, I think they call it 'sleeping'. Anyways, after my eyes shut I felt nothing and saw nothing but bright colours and blurry images. Then I saw a clear image, it was a beautiful man with brownish-bronze spiked hair, he was wearing a blue shirt and had a concerned expression on his face. I was puzzled, why would this stranger be concerned for me? I don't remember him, did I know him before? But then I was surprised, I saw a picture flash in my head, it was of me lying on the ground! Then, the picture shifted back to the beautiful young man, I was starting to like this dream now. This time the image got clearer and I noticed a different face in the background, it reminded me of a smell and I hated it...but I liked it at the same time. The person I was seeing in the background had nice rusty native-indian colour skin. His eyes were a deep brown and he looked like he was worried. Another thing I noticed was he had no shirt on and only sweatpants. He had shaggy dark hair--the way I like it. Uh-oh, his blood, his heartbeat, he is alive but something gives me the feeling he isn't like the other humans. His body is hotter, you could put an icecube on his back and it would melt in a second. That was another thing, the guy in front of me had cold hands, no heartbeat and pale skin, must be a vampire.

What a dream! It might seem crazy but, I wish it was real, then at least i'd know i'm not alone (as a vampire and as a social citizen to this earth).

The Beginning

In the beginning, I thought there was just me, I thought I was alone and that there was no others with me in this hell. I am a stranger. From my eyes I do not deserve the gift of company. I am a monster. No one should have to deal with this burden. But I am not alone. As i've always known it, my life is filled with challenges and my after life won't be any different. I can't stay here, in the place i've always known, a place I always thought of as safe. I am not alone, so I must go far away before I become the danger no one knows. It wouldn't take much, and you would not could not possibly be able to know this, to take a life, to take yours. I make you feel so comfortable, safe. My voice sounds warm and comforting and my actions are so smooth and delicate, just enough to get you caught in my web. So stay away...or be dead.